Wi-Fi
by ahiijny
Summary: It's the virtual age, after all. Nano decides that she wants a smart phone. So, Hakase gives Nano a smart phone function.


**日常 ****- nichijou, Arawi Keiichi**

* * *

"Hakase, I'm home!" Nano calls as she takes off her shoes.

"Nano!" Hakase says, walking into the hallway. "Did you get me anything?"

Nano closes her eyes, sighing. "It's not very polite to ask questions like that…"

"Did you?" Hakase asks again. Her expression is unchanged.

"Mn, just a little something," Nano says with a smile, reaching into her tote bag. "Someone in my class didn't need it anymore, so they gave it to me." She pulls out an unsolved Rubik's cube.

"Ah!" Hakase's face lights up in excitement. She stares at the object in Nano's hand for a few seconds.

"I've seen that before!" exclaims Hakase.

"Really?" Nano smiles.

"What is it?"

"Darn, I was hoping you'd know." Nano steps into the hallway as Hakase follows. "A classmate of mine said that it's usually associated with smart people, so I thought you'd like it."

"It's really colourful," Hakase says thoughtfully, taking the cube out of Nano's hand.

They walk into the living room and Nano sets her bag on the ground next to the table.

"So how was school, Nano?" asks Hakase.

"Ah… not so good," Nano sighs. "Lots of things happened."

"Ah," Hakase nods. She turns to Sakamoto, who's curled up in the corner, napping. "So how was school, Sakamoto?"

"Huh?" Nano looks confused. "Sakamoto-san doesn't go to school."

Hakase breaks into laughter. "Ha ha ha!... Hakase asked Sakamoto how was school when… ha ha ha!... he doesn't go to school! Ha ha ha!"

Nano sighs in relief. She thought that Hakase had done something crazy again. "Well, okay, then."

Hakase's hysterical laughter gradually dies down.

"Well?" asks Hakase.

"Huh?" Nano tilts her head.

"What happened?"

"Well, first of all, I seem to have lost my eraser," Nano says, digging through her pencil case.

"Uh-huh…" Hakase says.

"But that's not the main thing. It was in science class," Nano sighs. "We had this sheet… Uh… Well first of all, Nakamura-sensei was demonstrating a chemical reaction between magnesium and oxygen with a flame…"

Hakase nods.

"Nakamura-sensei told us to only observe the bright light using our peripheral vision. She said that we'd become blind if we looked directly at it."

"You're not blind, are you Nano?"

Nano shakes her head. "Actually, it was Aioi-san."

"Aioi?" Hakase tilts her head.

"You know, Yuuko-san."

"I remember her!" Hakase nods, enthusiastically raising her hand into the air.

"I don't think she was paying attention at all!" Nano closes her eyes, sighing. "She looked directly at the light, and she was unable to see for the rest of the period."

"Yukko?"

"Ah, she should be okay!" Nano reassures. "Aioi-san said that she only looked at it for an instant. The blindness shouldn't be permanent. The school nurse said that."

"Ah, okay." Hakase nods.

"And there was one more thing," Nano says. "The worksheet."

"Do you have it?" Hakase asks.

Nano shakes her head. "No, we just handed it in today. Anyway, there were a couple of spaces asking for the chemical formula of acetic acid, and the chemical formula for sodium bicarbonate!"

"Huh," Hakase says.

"We haven't learned about those things yet," Nano weeps. "The chemistry unit just started today. But when we asked Nakamura-sensei about these questions…"

Nano pauses. "Go on," says Hakase.

"She told us that we were supposed to look these things up on a smart phone."

"Ah yes, smart phones," Hakase nods, smirking. "All those youngsters seem to have them nowadays."

Nano sighs. "Stop talking like an old person."

"Heh heh," Hakase grins, rubbing the back of her head.

"Well, that was the problem. None of the people in my group had a smart phone, or any device that could connect to the internet. Not Aioi-san, nor Naganohara-san, nor Mai-san."

"_Nor_ is a funny word," Hakase grins.

Nano glares at Hakase. "We asked around and eventually got an answer, but I have no idea if it's right or not."

Hakase smiles. She steps forward and pats Nano on the head. "Don't worry Nano. I'm sure you did all right."

"Yeah…" Nano smiles. "Thanks, Hakase."

"Mm!" Hakase grins.

* * *

**ワイファイ**

**"Wi-Fi"**

* * *

"Hakase!" Nano cries with despair, stepping into the house.

"Nano? Did you get me anything?"

"No..." Nano steps into the hallway, pulling a sheet of paper out of her tote bag.

"Whassat?" Hakase asks.

"I got the results of my worksheet back," Nano weeps, grudgingly handing it over to Hakase.

Hakase examines the sheet.

**EVIDENCE OF CHEMICAL CHANGES LAB**

**Introduction:**

In this lab, you will observe new products formed from chemical reactions, and determine which of the six clues of a chemical change are evident in each chemical reaction.

**Procedure:**

**Part A (Demonstration):**

1. Your teacher will obtain a small piece of magnesium ribbon. Describe the reactants.

2. A Bunsen burner will be used to ignite the piece of metal. This causes the magnesium to react with the oxygen in the air. Describe your observations.

****Do not look directly at the flame or metal. Use your peripheral vision only to protect your eyes.****

**Part B:**

.

.**  
**

.

Hakase flips the page and sees Nano's mark at the top of the paper.

**( 43 / 45 )**

Hakase's eyes widen.

Nano continues. "As I had feared, I got both sodium bicarbonate and acetic acid wrong." She plops herself down next to the table.

Hakase grins. "This isn't that bad of a mark, Nano."

"But I got both acetic acid and sodium bicarbonate wrong!" Nano throws her arms in the air. "Nakamura-sensei expected us to be able to search up the chemical formulas for these experiments, but I couldn't do it! We couldn't..."

"Uh-huh…" Hakase scans the worksheet.

.

.

.

Acetic Acid  
_Chemical formula:  
_CH4NOOH **[wrong]**

Sodium Bicarbonate  
_Chemical formula:  
_Na(CO3)2 **[wrong]**_  
_

.

.

.

"It's like you said yesterday," Nano says. "Basically all young people have smart phones nowadays. It's not normal for me not to have a smart phone…"

"What's wrong with being normal?" asks Hakase.

"Nothing's wrong with being normal," Nano says. "In fact, I want to be normal."

She pauses. "Wait, what was the point of that question?" She raises an eyebrow. "Are you purposefully trying to confuse me?"

"Heh heh." Hakase rubs the back of her head.

"My point is, my not having a smart phone cost me two whole marks in this assignment," Nano laments.

"Yes, you have completely dishonoured your family," Hakase smiles.

Nano examines Hakase's face. Hakase continues smiling.

_Oh my god…_ Nano sweats. She's_ getting to the age where she can use sarcasm…_

Nano shakes her head. "Never mind that. Smart phones could become very helpful in my life. I could call you if I'm running late. I could bring up a map if I become lost— all smart phones nowadays have a GPS installed in them."

"Eh~?" Hakase tilts her head.

"Hakase." Nano smiles. "May I please get a smart phone?"

"Hm…" Hakase looks contemplative.

Nano looks at Hakase with apprehension.

"How about…" Hakase starts, grinning from ear to ear. "…I get you an iPod Nano?"

Nano falls over as Hakase breaks into hysterical laughter.

"Really?…" Nano sighs, getting up.

"Ipod… ha ha ha… Nano!... ha ha ha!... and Nano!... ha ha ha!"

Nano stares at the orange-haired professor rolling around on the ground.

Sakamoto opens one eye. "What's all this noise?"

"Ah, Sakamoto-san!" Nano plops herself in front of the black kitty. "May I please get a smart phone?"

"Smart phone?" Sakamoto gets to his feet, yawning. "Where did all this come from?"

"Ah, school," Nano explains. "I just thought that it'd be useful to research things if it came up in class like yesterday."

"Those new-fangled smart phones," Sakamoto says. "Do you really need them?"

"Stop talking like an old person."

"Smart phones cost a lot of money," Sakamoto sighs. "In addition to that, there are data plans to think about as well. As well as the chargers or batteries and whatnot."

"Wow~" Nano says. "You sure are knowledgeable about smart phones."

Sakamoto glares at Nano. "Those things are common knowledge. How do you _not _know about them?" Sakamoto sighs. "Anyway, that's not the only problem. If you keep bringing an expensive piece of equipment to school like that, it'd eventually get broken. Or lost. Or stolen. Also, aren't those things prohibited in classrooms?"

"Not in our science classroom," Nano says. "Our teacher lets us research things on the internet with them."

"Whatever," Sakamoto says dismissively. "I'm just saying. Is an expensive piece of equipment like that really worth it?"

"Yes," Nano says immediately. "May I please get one?"

"Why are you asking me, anyway?" Sakamoto asks. "I'm a cat. You're the one who's managing all of our money."

"Uh," Nano pauses. She thinks for a few seconds as Hakase continues laughing hysterically in the background. "I just wanted to get a consensus." She smiles.

"Geh, whatever." Sakamoto averts his eyes. "Just don't come crying to me if you drop it down a well or something."

"Hee," Nano closes her eyes, grinning. "Thanks, Sakamoto-san."

Sakamoto grunts dismissively.

"Hakase?" Nano shuffles over to the table.

The professor is still rolling around on the ground in hysterics. "I… ha ha ha!... can't… ha ha ha!... breathe!... ha ha ha!... Nano!... ha ha ha!"

After several false stops, five minutes later, Hakase finally calms down.

"So, what do you say to me getting a smart phone?" Nano asks.

Hakase is hiccupping, and giggles still occasionally escape her mouth. "Heh… Don't worry, Nano. That won't be necessary."

"Huh?" Nano tilts her head.

Hakase closes her eyes and grins, wiping the drool off of her face with her sleeve.

"I'll install a function that'll have all of the things a smart phone can do!"

"A function?"

"It'll be totally free."

"Hm…" Nano puts her fingers to her chin in contemplation. "It's not that I'm against the idea, but what if this function is too conspicuous?"

"Conspicuous?" Hakase puzzles over the unfamiliar word.

"You know, like my screw…"

"Ah, it'll be fine!" Hakase waves her hand dismissively.

"Um, okay…?" Nano doesn't sound very convinced.

"Mm," Hakase nods. "I'll install it right away. Just hold still for a moment, Nano."

The young professor reaches over the table and plucks out Nano's left eye.

"Aah!?" Nano recoils, covering her left eye socket with her hands. "Hakase, what are you doing!?"

"I'll install the smart phone function in here," Hakase smiles, pointing to the eyeball in her fingers.

Nano pouts. "That's gross, Hakase."

"No it's not," says Hakase, looking over the white eyeball. "It's perfectly normal."

"You have a weird sense of normal."

"Anyway, I'll get to work now," Hakase smiles as she gets up and walks out of the room.

Nano sighs.

* * *

"It's done!" Hakase announces, jumping into the living room. Nano had been just finishing off her homework sheet about ionic compounds. She's currently wearing a make-shift eye patch over her left eye.

"Really?" Nano asks, looking up.

"Mm!" Hakase pulls off the cloth around Nano's eye and inserts the eyeball back into the socket.

Nano blinks several times. "Everything still looks exactly the same, though…"

Hakase closes her eyes and chuckles smugly. "You need to close your eye and put your finger on top."

Nano closes both of her eyes and gently puts her index finger on top of her left eye. "Like this?... Whoa."

"Hee hee," Hakase grins. "Well?"

"It's amazing!" Nano replies in awe.

Hakase's grin grows wider with pride.

"What are these things, though?"

"Huh?" Hakase frowns. "You don't recognize it?"

"No, I've never seen anything like it before…"

Hakase huffs and pats Nano on the shoulder. "You really are behind on your knowledge of computers, aren't you? Well, it can't be helped. I'll help you."

Nano's eyes are still closed. "Well thank you, Hakase… But what is this?"

"It's a Windows OS," Hakase says.

"Wow, really?" Nano exclaims. "I've heard of OS before… It's that computer program thingy."

Hakase nods. "Yes, that's exactly what it is. A computer program thingy."

"Where did you get it, Hakase?"

"I found it."

Nano opens her right eye. "Wait, found it?"

"Mm," Hakase nods. "I was walking Sakamoto the other day and I found a perfectly good computer lying at the side of the road!"

"Hakase," Nano scolds, mildly serious. "What have I told you about taking other people's garbage?"

"It wasn't garbage," Hakase protests. "It was a perfectly good computer! Just lying at the side of the road!"

"Just lying there?" Nano asks.

"Sakamoto said that if it's lying at the side of the road, we're allowed to take it."

"Really?..."

"If you don't believe me, ask Sakamoto!" Hakase reaches over and pulls Sakamoto over to the table. "Hey, Sakamoto!"

"Huh?" the black cat yawns. "What is it?"

"Sakamoto-san," Nano starts. "Is it true that Hakase picked up a computer from the side of the road the other day?"

"Huh?" Sakamoto says. "Hm… Now that I think about it, yeah, something like that might've happened the other day. Or something."

"You should be more careful with stuff like that," she says. "Who knows what kind of germs might be on that computer? Sakamoto…" She gives the cat a stern look.

"What? The kid seemed really interested in the thing, so I let her take it."

"Hm… But why would a perfectly good computer be just sitting there?" Nano wonders. "How strange… What if—"

"No, it was definitely garbage," Sakamoto proclaims. "It was sitting right next to the garbage cans in front of the house."

"Yeah!" Hakase agrees. "That means we're allowed to take it."

"And you said that it was still good?" asks Nano.

"Mm!" Hakase nods, grinning. "It booted up perfectly fine, so that made it really easy for me to put the stuffs from it into Nano's eyeball."

"Stuffs." Sakamoto rolls his eyes.

"Ah, I see…" Nano nods. "So that's why it has Windows…" Nano smiles, playfully tousling Hakase's hair. "You sure do know a lot about computers, you computer wizard you!"

"I am a scientific genius," Hakase beams, chuckling modestly. "Now, let me show you how to connect to Wi-Fi!"

"Wi-Fi?" Nano echoes, unfamiliar with the word.

"It's the thing that lets smart phones connect to the Internet!"

"Oh, the Internet!" Nano says, nodding. "I've heard of it before. It's that computer… thingy."

"Mm. That's exactly what it is. A computer thingy."

"Oh, and what does Wi-Fi mean exactly?"

"Ah, it doesn't matter." Hakase waves her hand dismissively. "I think it stands for something."

"What does it stand for?"

Hakase stares at the ceiling, deep in thought. "Wireless… Fireless."

"Really?"

"Dunno!" Hakase grins.

"Oh…"

"Anyway…" Hakase reaches over and slowly moves Nano's hand back over her eye. "I'll show you through all of the functions I added. Like there, if you click the button with the picture of the Earth, that's the GPS function…"

* * *

"This function is really cool, Hakase," Nano exclaims.

"Mm," Hakase nods. She's currently sprawled on the ground with the Rubik's cube lying on the ground in front of her.

"Oi girl, the next train is passing by here in a few seconds!" Sakamoto calls from across the room.

"Ah, okay!" Nano nods. She closes her left eye and puts two fingers on top of it. "Connecting to Wi-Fi…"

"Honestly, this is sort of ridiculous." Sakamoto sighs. "Instead of going through all this trouble, why don't you just buy Wi-Fi for the house?"

"But that costs money…"

"Really, is this any less troublesome?"

There's the familiar sound of the train rushing past Shinonome Laboratory.

"There we go! It loaded!" says Nano, just as the train finishes passing by.

"So, Nano, what does it say?" Hakase asks, sitting up.

"…" Nano frowns. "It looks really complicated. I don't really get it… There's all these things about algorithms or something…"

Sakamoto sighs. "So, waiting to catch the free Wi-Fi on the train that passes by here, and only getting 5 seconds to look up how to solve a Rubik's cube… That's not troublesome at all?"

"Well, this way it's free," Nano says. "Installing Wi-Fi in the house would cost at least 8500 yen. Probably a lot more."

Sakamoto gives an exasperated sigh.

"Nano, if it's too complicated, then it's okay," says Hakase. "I know another way to solve this cube."

"Huh?" Nano opens her left eye. "Really?"

Hakase nods, holding the cube up to her face. "It's very simple."

Hakase takes her right finger and starts picking at the corner of one of the coloured stickers.

"Huh…" Nano remarks.

Hakase continues peeling off the stickers. There's about six of them lying sticky-side up on the carpet now.

"Is… Isn't that cheating?" Nano sweat-drops.

* * *

The cube is now completely solved, but none of the stickers are sticking very well. Most of them are curling up.

"Huh…" Hakase says, staring at the cube.

"Huh…" Nano says, staring at the cube.

They look at each other.

"Heh… that didn't really work well." Hakase puts her hand behind her head.

"Is this cube ruined now?" asks Nano.

"That's okay," Hakase says. She sets the ruined cube down on the ground and walks over to the cupboard.

Nano looks at Hakase.

"I have another one." Hakase pulls out an unsolved Rubik's cube.

"Ehhhhh!?" Nano falls over.

* * *

**日常 ****- nichijou, Arawi Keiichi**


End file.
